What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
