I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
True college students do jello shots in the library
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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