Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
