I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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