so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
