I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
