Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
