I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
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