You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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