my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
