Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
