he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
