Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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