Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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