Ambien. No doubt about it.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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