Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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