i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
i now understand why vodka
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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