Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
