I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
