so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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