I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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