Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
