the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
