Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
