I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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