if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
