Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
