Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
