life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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