i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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