dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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