dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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