some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
