Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
