the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
