If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
