dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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