i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
