if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Dear god my vagina.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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