im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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