you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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