if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
