your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
