Hey man sorry I got all grabby
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
