i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
