I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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