I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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