This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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