Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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