Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
