Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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