I'm laying in your front yard are you home
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
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